Day 23 - Ankles

The SOD staff has a Forest versus Trees problem. It is difficult to bring clarity to the big picture when struggling with the tasks at hand.

Ben and I have made some progress on tying up some loose ends this week. We are jumping back into Dreamweaver – a website design program – and it is a bit intimidating. My inclination is to wait until I know enough to accomplish what I want before jumping in. Unfortunately some of what you need to know can only be learned by getting in the water. Hence you end up standing on the sidelines. I am in up to my ankles anyway.

Day 22 - Retooling

The School of Dad is using the new month as a driver for some retooling. I have continued to battle a ‘interest deficit’ and I am trying to get Ben excited about some aspect of the work we are doing. (He is not unhappy, just not engaged.) This week were are focusing on getting is ‘Big Blow’ website up to date and the School of Dad website online. Getting these items in place will help us moving forward. There are a number of organizational issues to tackle this week, and we need to get a newsletter published. A productive week would be a big moral boost.

Day 21 - The Truth

“Dad, when you hold the thermometer upside down why doesn’t the mercury drain down?”
“First, it is not mercury. Second, before you ask – I do not know what it is, and third, I should know but do not know the answer to your question.

Day 20 - Getting Control

We needed to depart from the schedule – such as it is – today. Ben woke with a variety of concerns – he did not want to go to his art class, he would have to rush back for his flute lesson, he would have too much homework, and then in the evening his brother was attending an event he wanted to go to but would not be able to.

Rather than the usual slate, we spent some time working on a technical skill that he has wanted to acquire. We figured it out and then he was able to use it to produce something for his favorite website. He got some control over his day – and it put him in the right frame of mind for his afternoon. Most of his concerns went unrealized and he ended up having a good day.

Day 19 - PEMDAS

After finishing Math today I told Ben that tomorrow we would be reviewing a topic that was easy for him – Order of Operations. He was able to explain it to me and told me the mnemonic: "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally". He learned this from his 4th grade teacher. I had him send the teacher and Email letting him know that his name had come up.

He understood and appreciated Ben for the smart quirky kid that he is. Ben would have had him again for the 5th grade but the teacher left the school for a better opportunity. Ben’s new teacher was a very good teacher but I never got the impression that he connected with Ben.

Ben was fortunate to also have a teacher for Kindergarten and first grade that valued him for who he was (rather than being annoyed by him - which would be an easy alternative).

I am still struggling to feel like I am making a meaningful connection with his thought process like I believe those teachers did.

Day 18 - Who's excited?

At the School of Dad we sometimes have a hard time figuring out who is learning more. We have been exploring weather under the guidance of my brother, a high school science teacher. The past couple of weeks we have been studying how the earth is unevenly heating. Today in the final step before putting all of the pieces together we examined the orbit of the earth around the sun. We did this at a fortuitous time, with the Autumnal Equinox being yesterday. Using a model and applying things that we know, we were able to draw some conclusions about what the earth’s orbit looks like. Ben followed and understood the process. It was certainly not new to me, but I was the one excited about the investigation. In examining the equinox we found a website that showed sunrise/sunset time as well as the angle of the sun and distance from the sun at solar noon. We compared the data with the spring equinox, summer solstice and winter solstice. We also look at how the data looked different in locations nearer and farther from the equator. I thought it all was very cool. Ben was mostly nonplussed.

I wish I could figure out what we could do that would generate in Ben the interest and excitement that I was feeling.

Day 17 - Car Talk

Ben was half awake this morning as we tried to get going so I moved up a trip to the library to get him moving and hopefully a little more alert.

“Dad, we have to do a lot of talking on our ride.”
“Why is that?”
“I have been yawning a lot – I have a lot of built up air inside and I need to get it out.”

We do some of our best thinking when driving or walking. This morning we talked about the essay I wanted him to write and the components thereof. The discussion included how to organize work before writing and AVI’s five rules of good writing:
· Write
· Re Write
· Write for an audience
· Listen to your writing
· Read.
Of course we also talked about why the nickel is the unluckiest coin (you never need more than one to give change) and a variety of other things flowing through Ben’s brain.

Keeping Ben focused on the task at hand is clearing becoming one of the primary challenges at the School of Dad. This issue is one he comes upon very honestly.

Day 16 - Not Sore

I considered it a good sign that my neck was not stiff by the end of the day today. The week finsihed in an upbeat fashion at the School of Dad. Ben liked the daily sheet that I gave him today that included a schedule for the day. I should have done this long ago.

He was left with some ‘work’ to do over the weekend and I know he certainly would rather use that time for ‘play’. I will remind him that it needs to get done and will be very disappointed if he does not make an effort to do so by Monday.

Day 15 - Regrouping

In speaking with a teacher friend about some poor work that Ben had done early in the year, she said I was dealing with ‘overcoming resistance’. We have yet to overcome.

This morning I was upset about the poor effort he had given the homework that had piled up while school was ‘closed’. The bottom line is that he does not feel compelled to work on things that are not fun.

I had a day planned but felt we needed to chart a new course so we started by going to a large park and taking a dog for a walk.

Under the umbrella of learning perseverance we outlined some basic rules as we walked:

• Work before Play
• Minimize Distractions
• Take Care of your Brain

I am sure that Ben’s brain is a firestorm of thoughts and ideas. Most are fleeting but they keep coming. Maintaining focus on the work at hand, especially if it is not stimulating, is very difficult for him.

Know that his mind likes predictability and structure, I offered to give him a daily plan that outlined the day on a timeline. I offered assistance in maintaining a constructive work environment. I told him that working in his room is a privilege he will earn.

It was a very demoralizing start to the day but I felt good to present him with a prototype of the plan for tomorrow and see that he liked it.

I do not want our days to be regimented and inflexible but I know that structure will help him.

Day 14 - Power returns

A few days ago I wrote about a ‘Low Power’ day - when the faculty was suffering from a power outage. Day 14 of the School of Dad comes five days after Day 13 because of an actual power outage. The remnants of Hurricane Ike moved through the state of Ohio on Sunday, bring near hurricane force winds and leaving much of the state in the dark when it left. Our home was only out of power for 10 hours, but the damage in the area had the schools closed on Monday and Tuesday. While there was nothing technically stopping the School of Dad from being in session, the presence of Ben’s brother and sister made that impractical. Yesterday we sat and reviewed the many things I hoped to accomplish this week. The hope was that he would do a little work yesterday to lessen the load on the rest of the week. He chose not to. I had been prepared to back off on some items but his lack of participation yesterday made me rethink that.

We have a large list of things to accomplish by week’s end. Ben did not exactly seem recharged this morning, but he was back in school mode and we moved ahead.

I was reviewing some school work last night while waiting for Ben ad choir practice.
As we were driving I asked, "Ben, do you know what Absolute Value is?"
"Huh?"
"Have you heard the term Absolute Value?"
"Nope."
"Well, Absolute Value is just the distance of a number from zero," I told him.
I was about to explain it further when he said, "So the Absolute Value of a positive number is the number and for a negative number it is the number without the negative."
"Yes."
"Why would you need to know that?"

Day 13 - Thought Skipping

I will wait until Monday to tell Ben that today was the 13th day of school. (Actually I will probably tell him that Monday is the 14th day and leave it up to him to figure out that he survived the 13th.) Ben see’s significance in numbers. He likes patterns and sees them everywhere. He used to tell me how he walked in groups of 16 steps but has not said anything about that lately – I am a bit afraid to ask.

Wednesday he told me “Dad, my mind is not working the same way recently.”
“What is the problem?”
“It is skipping over thoughts.”

I believe that is his way of saying he is easily distracted these days.

My mind has been skipping over thoughts recently as well. I consider the pain I have been feeling at the back of my neck all week a sign that I am giving my best effort and it will pay off (hopefully soon).

Day 12 - Editing

I struggle with how to work with Ben in editing his work. The quandary is to produce quality without losing his work in the process. I recognize that there is a difference between the type of work I would like to see and the type of work that is reasonable to expect from someone his age.

I try to be clear in outlining components that should be in work and the things I will be looking for when reviewing his work product. His final work often lacks a visual sense and frequently excludes information I suggested he include. He has been documenting some science work lately and I have been trying to get him to write in the spare and direct way that makes a clear point. He is still struggling with that style of writing. Science writing is nice because it is easy to establish a standard and the repeat it for reinforcement. We are working on creating templates and using past work product as an example for future work.

I am always careful that our ‘process’ does not rob him of the satisfaction he gets from creating the work product. I hope I am being successful at that.

Day 11 - School Supplies

Yesterday I attended the curriculum night at my 8th grade son’s school. After a discouraging day with Ben I was prepared to leave this night feeling worse. I have great respect for teachers and I was certain that their skill on display would simply reinforce the way I was feeling earlier in the day – underequipped for the task at hand. It started out that way but by the end of the night I was feeling energized. With the right resources I could do this – and those resources are available. The turning point was in the math class. The teacher was quite excited about the text he was using. I have been feeling the opposite and concerned about the quality of math instruction that Ben has been receiving. Today I pursued a text within that family. A good math text would take a great load off.

I peeked over Ben’s shoulder as he worked on his “School of Ben” marketing brochure. I laughed that his “School Supplies Needed” list included “A Curious Mind”. Yes, you need more then a good text book! I look forward to seeing the draft on Friday.

Day 10 - Drag Along

The School of Dad is continuing to struggle with student interest. We do not have anything on the current work schedule that the student body is excited about. I feel a bit like I am dragging Ben down the road right now, which is no good for either one of us. It was a rather discouraging day. Thank goodness for the renewed promise made possible by ‘tomorrow’.

Day 9 - School of Ben

I was frustrated with Ben this morning. I needed to leave for a few minutes (at the time our day would normally start) so I quickly reviewed the plan for the week then left him with a number of tasks that he could complete in my absence. When I returned I found that he had not worked on any of them. He did not have his homework binder so I asked him to go and get it. He could not find it. The fact that he did not know where it was clearly indicated that he had not done the homework that I had asked him to complete this weekend (and reminded him about yesterday and this morning).

I have planned on starting a writing assignment today that we would tie into the election but instead asked him to write on, “What do you want the School of Dad to be?”

His performance is an indication that he is not feeling much enthusiasm for what we are doing. Clearly school cannot always be fun, but in a situation like ours it must provide a higher level of engagement or it has no purpose.

I gave him an hour to write, not expecting him to finish (or produce a revelatory product). After the hour we spoke for a moment about my concerns and then moved on to some other things.

During out post lunch walk I told Ben that I wanted him to take any ideas in this morning writing and begin again with the first line, “Welcome to the School of Ben.” Later, I morphed the idea further by asking him to produce a brochure for the “School of Ben”. I made a few suggestions for sections: Our School Day, Our Philosophy, How We Are Different. It will be interesting to see what he produces.

Day 8 - Problem Math

Ben had been given some math problems on Tuesday and was told he was to have them finished correctly today. That meant that he could give them to me beforehand and I would be happy to review his work and let him know if would need to make further modifications.

Wednesday I asked him about the problems and he assured me he had them under control.
Today I asked him to go to the white board and show me the work. He had done the first one quite differently then I had. Initially I thought he was doing something wrong but then realized he was correct and his answer (thought more complicated mathematically) presented clearer answer. We also took a different approach on the second problem. Careful reading of the problem indicated that he produced the correct answer and I did not. Before going on to the third program I looked at his paper and found it had little connection to the work he was doing on the board. Huh? The written work was nearly incoherent and wrong.

We went to Excel and clearly outline the steps and verify our computation. Then I asked him to redo the work for Monday in the form that I expected. I explained this was the last time he would be bring such low quality work to the table on Friday.

Day 7 - Reading with a Purpose

Today we read the Third Chapters of The Pictures of Hollis Woods. (The book alternates with a third chapter about a picture she has drawn, then another third chapter about the current action.) Before reading I reminded Ben to read with an eye for important events and details.

After he finished reading I asked him some questions about important things that had happened and details presented. He was not able to answer the questions.

I then had him read a Blog post that asked some questions about the chapters. I asked him if he thought he would have read the chapters differently if he had read the chapters first. He said that he would have. I told him that the Blog post would have engaged his brain and got it looking for answers to the questions posted. I explained that in learning to read were are trying to get him to ‘read with a purpose’. We want the brain to get turned on and searching for information that the author is giving us. The hope is to get the brain to turn itself on each time he picks up a book. The Blog is a resource to help train his brain. In the future we will be reading the Blog Posts before reading.

I sent him off with a printed copy of the Blog post, a highlighter, a pen, and the suggestion that he find a place to read that would be conducive to working rather then a comfortable spot. He returned with the paper unmarked, highlighter still tightly covered and pen unused. The book was pristine. Had picked up a couple of things with the second reading, but still missed an essential point.

On important element of ‘reading with a purpose’ is curiosity. Ben is quite curious about the things that interest him. So far this book is just creeping into that world.

Day 6 - Low Power

There was a power outage at the School of Dad today – the teacher was out of gas. I am not sure what the problem was but I could not get my head in the game all day. Rather than fight it, we did some things that did not require great focus or attention on my part. We made a trip to the library, office supply store, and Lowes. Ben had some projects to work on this afternoon so he was busy. We just did not cover any new ground.

The trip to Lowes today was too look for the supplies for some shelves that we are building for Ben to display a collection. We found a premade type that we liked and then went to look at the supplies to make it ourselves. It could have been my foggy brain, or the potential price tag, but I realized that the marginal learning Ben would get from building them himself was probably not greater than the marginal cost of time and supplies, so we bought the kit. We assembled and hung it (a bit crookedly) this afternoon. He is pleased as could be. We will probably buy a couple of more.

Hopefully the power will be back on tomorrow.

Day 5

“The more you know the less you know you know.” No doubt others have said similar things but I am taking credit for that particular piece of wisdom.

Today I had Ben read an article in the Columbus Dispatch (from the AP) about Hurricane Gustav. After giving him a chance to read it I asked what he thought the main theme was and he correctly stated “the hurricane was not as bad as people expected it would be”.

Then I read the article out loud. As I was reading to him it I realized there must be words and terms he did not understand. What did he do?
“Ben, do you know what a Levee is?”
“I was wondering about that! It sounded like a brand of car!”
“I can see that, but in the context of the article, what did you think in meant?”
“It sounded like some sort of hill.”

Floodwall, storm surge, Category 4, Cajun, Army Corp of Engineers – did he know what they were?

Then I gave him an article about Gustav from the Wall Street Journal. I wanted him to see how two credible sources could write different stories. They were certainly different in focus.

As we were talking and comparing I realize that there were a multitude of paths that these articles could lead us down. We took a short trip to the geography of New Orleans but we did not explore many other interesting (at least to me) topics that the articles touched on.

Recognizing that this exercise needed to be done differently next time (most importantly he needed a more directed purpose in reading in the first place) we moved on, but first I reiterated the two important lessons:
- if you do not understand something, figure it out before moving on.
- Two credible sources can produce different articles.